Three teams. One field. Zero desire for anyone to ever see this written down.
Team Herbie (Visitors): 12
Team Dowdy (Middle): 17
Team Leslie (Home): 18
Team Dowdy (Middle): 17
Team Leslie (Home): 18
And yes — at the bottom of the third, the scoreboard flashed 6‑6‑6 like it was auditioning for a horror movie.
The Heat Index: “Nope.”
It was a scorcher.
Not a “hot day.”
Not a “Florida summer.”
No — this was the kind of heat where even the shade was sweating.
Not a “hot day.”
Not a “Florida summer.”
No — this was the kind of heat where even the shade was sweating.
Players moved on and off the field SLOWLY. Every dugout conversation started with, “We really doing this?” So the league made the smartest decision of the day:
Cut it to 6 innings.
Survival > Softball.
Survival > Softball.
Entering the 6th: 12‑17‑17
A tight game.
A dramatic game.
A game that absolutely, positively, unquestionably did not happen.
A dramatic game.
A game that absolutely, positively, unquestionably did not happen.
Defense suddenly woke up:
- Visitors: 3 up, 3 down
- Middle team: 3 up, 3 down
The crowd sensed something brewing.
Bottom of the 6th: Chaos, Comedy, and Questionable Coaching
Coach Leslie — who had been doing great up to this point — suddenly decided to spice things up by sending the wrong batter to the plate.
He flew out to left.
Oops.
The out stands.
The dugout groans.
The scorekeeper sighs.
Leslie mutters something about “heat stroke decision-making.”
The dugout groans.
The scorekeeper sighs.
Leslie mutters something about “heat stroke decision-making.”
Correct batter Jaimie steps in and smacks a single like nothing weird just happened.
Then Sweets blasts a deep double, sending Jaimie to third and sending the dugout into a frenzy.
Runners on 2nd and 3rd.
Game tied.
Drama building.
Heat still unbearable.
Game tied.
Drama building.
Heat still unbearable.
Coach/Manager/Player Leslie steps up — in this totally fictional, absolutely imaginary game — and launches a shot to third, allowing the nonexistent Jaimie to score the nonexistent winning run.
Team Leslie wins 18‑17‑12.
Celebration erupts.
Water bottles are dumped.
Shade is immediately sought.
And everyone agrees on one thing:
Water bottles are dumped.
Shade is immediately sought.
And everyone agrees on one thing:
This game never happened.
You didn’t read this.
I didn’t write this.
No one remembers anything.
The scoreboard was never 666.
Leslie never sent the wrong batter.
Sweets never doubled.
Jaimie never scored.
And this game has been placed in the official category of “We won’t ever talk about this game.
I didn’t write this.
No one remembers anything.
The scoreboard was never 666.
Leslie never sent the wrong batter.
Sweets never doubled.
Jaimie never scored.
And this game has been placed in the official category of “We won’t ever talk about this game.
Now, forget you ever read this!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.